


Greatest Loss in Life

by StatueOfLuberty



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Disappointment, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 13:16:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2111286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StatueOfLuberty/pseuds/StatueOfLuberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn't know how he's kept it a secret for so long. Sharpy's almost caught on a few times, but he's never said anything about it. Johnny's just glad that Pat doesn't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Greatest Loss in Life

He doesn't know how he's kept it a secret for so long. Sharpy's almost caught on a few times, but he's never said anything about it. Johnny's just glad that Pat doesn't know.

Johnny walks into the UC with his bag slung over his shoulder, just like any other day. He nods to the workers that he passes as he walks to the locker room, and then he gets ready. The only difference with today is that Pat isn't here. He tries calling him, but he won't answer. Everybody else tries, and they have the same result as him. Q tells them to forget about him and get on the ice. Johnny encourages everybody to when they start to protest, but he's reacting the same way on the inside. He has to be the captain, and the captain always listens to the coach.

Throughout the morning, Johnny glances back at the tunnel as if Pat will pop out and laugh at their reactions earlier. Sharpy catches on with his actions quickly and skates over.

"Hey, don't worry about him. You and I can go over later and yell at him," he assures him.

Johnny nods and takes another shot at Crow.

 

 

*

 

Sharpy and Johnny pull up to Pat's place and get out of their cars before walking through the front doors. Johnny's heart is racing with every second that their closer to Pat's apartment. Something doesn't feel right to him. His brain's telling him to turn around and get back in his car. He ignores it and follows Sharpy down the hallway. They start pounding on the door and wait for Pat to answer. The door opens, but it's not Pat's face they see. Instead, it's a girl's face, and along with the face is messy hair, smudged makeup, and a body with only a t-shirt on, a t-shirt that belongs to _Johnny_. He's left it here in case he has to crash to keep care of Kaner.

"Excuse me, do you happen to know—Johnny, where are you going?" Sharpy says, but Johnny's already running down the stairs.

Johnny gets into his car and drives home, his heart shriveling up and dying. He's always loved Pat, and just when he thought that there was a chance that he loved him back, a girl in her underwear and  _his_ shirt kills that idea with a dull knife.

He slams his apartment door shut (when did he get out of his car?) and throws his jacket on the floor. He takes his shoes off and shuffles into the kitchen, grabbing a protein shake from his fridge. He takes a sip of it, and then he adds scotch to the drink before shaking it and chugging. He takes another bottle and adds the alcohol before shaking it and take sips. His head starts to feel fuzzy as somebody knocks on his door. He ignores it, hoping the person will go away, but when the door open and closes again, he groans.

"What the hell happened back there?" Sharpy asks as he enters the kitchen.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Johnny answers as he takes a sip of his mixed drink.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Why'd you run away like your heart was..." Sharpy trails off, and he frowns. "Oh, Johnny."

"Don't give me that look. I don't need your pity," Johnny snaps.

"Hey, no need to snap. At least I care," Sharpy points out.

Johnny drops his protein shake, and he curls into a ball on the ground as he shakes with violent sobs. Sharpy kneels down and holds him, letting him cry into his chest. Johnny then pulls back and looks up at him.

"I thought I actually had a chance. My mom always told me not to let my imagination take over. I didn't understand before, but I do now," he says, and he starts to cry again.

Once Johnny's calmed down, Sharpy pours them glasses of scotch. They drink and talk about hockey and whatever's on their minds. Eventually, they're so drunk that they talk about Pat and how much of a shithead he is (well, Sharpy listens as Johnny calls Pat every name in the book.) Sharpy manages to text Abby, telling her that he won't be home until tomorrow, and he'll explain when he sees her. He then looks over at Johnny to see him passed out in his seat. He sighs and drags him to his room. After depositing Johnny onto his bed, Sharpy gets a bottle of water and some ibuprofen and sets it on the side table. He goes to the family room and crashes on the couch.

 

*

 

"Hey, can we keep this between us?" Johnny asks a couple days later when he and Sharpy walk into the UC on game day.

"Johnny, I'm not going to tell the whole team that. Give me some credit, will ya?" Sharpy jokes.

"You see, I do that, and then you do something like blurt stuff I don't want the team to know and prank me," Johnny points out.

"Touché. Well, I promise I won't tell anybody," he says, and they enter the locker room.

Johnny's in the middle of changing when Pat walks in. He rushes into his workout clothing and flees from the locker room, ignoring Pat calling after him. He finds the group of not-so rookies playing two-touch, so he decides to join. They play for a while, and then the game dies down as media comes in for pregame interviews. Of course, Pat and Johnny are interviewed at the same time in the locker room, and when the media has disappeared, Pat starts to walk over to him. Johnny frantically looks around for a way out, but by the time he's found one, Pat has him cornered.

"Hey, somebody told me the other day that you and Sharpy visited my apartment. What was that about?" he asks.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe Sharpy, but not me. After practice, I went home and took a nap," Johnny lies. Pat can't know that he fled as soon as he saw a girl in nothing but a shirt.  _Johnny's_ shirt.

"Wait, we had practice the other day?" Pat asks.

"The whole team tried calling you, wondering where you were. Didn't you get any of our messages?" Johnny questions.

"I've been so busy the last couple days. I haven't had time to really look at my phone," Pat says with a grin that's barely noticeable, but Johnny's always studying his face.

"Well, Q is mad. He wants to talk to you," Johnny says, and he looks past Pat.

Pat turns around to address the coach that isn't standing there, and Johnny manages to sneak away. He turns to walk out of the locker room when he catches Sharpy's gaze. He frowns and exits.

 

*

 

They're down 2-0 to the Canucks, and Pat looks like he was just rejected by the person he loves. Johnny knows that look. He's been wearing it for the past couple days. Sharpy's been by his side since the encounter in the locker room, making sure that the two aren't alone again. No matter how much Sharpy annoys him, Johnny can't find it in him to hate the guy. Sharpy does what he does to Johnny because he loves the guy, believe it or not.

"Why can't I score?" Pat asks as he sits next to Johnny. If Johnny could, he would scoot away from Pat.

"I don't know, but fix it," Johnny snaps, surprising them both.

"Excuse me?" Pat asks, his face twisting.

"You heard me. Fix your problem. It's yours, not mine," Johnny says.

"You're the captain. My problems on the ice are yours," Pat says, his voice raising.

"I can't fix this for you. I can't just crawl into your mind and control your shots," Johnny says, raising his voice as well.

"No, but you could give me some encouragement, asshole!" Pat shouts.

"Fine, want some encouragement?! Think about your girlfriend! If you score and help us win, you'll get laid tonight!" Johnny screams, and they both freeze.

Before Pat can say anything, it's Johnny's line's turn on the ice. He hops over the boards and skates towards the puck, getting a breakaway. He flicks his wrist, and the puck goes five-hole. The horn blares, and Chelsea Dagger starts playing as Chicago cheers for him. He hugs his linemates and skates over to the bench to bump everybody's fist. Of course, he skips Pat because he's a stubborn ass, and he skates over to the center of the ice to face off.

At the end of the game, they win 3-2 in a shootout, Pat scoring the goal that determined who won. They get out of their smelly gear as fast as they can, and then media floats from player to player. Once it's all over, Johnny leaves behind Pat, and he sees Pat kiss the girl from the other day. His chest tightens, and he practically runs to his car. He drives home and crawls into bed as soon as he's changed. The argument from earlier runs through his mind, and he mentally punches himself in the face for saying what he did. That could've given him away, and that can't happen. Pat can't know that Johnny loves him. He just  _can't_.

 

*

 

Johnny's playing with Maddy about a week later at Sharpy's house when they both hear the doorbell ring. Sharpy walks past to answer the door, and when Johnny hears him greet Pat with a surprised tone, he almost doesn't catch the child that he threw in the air. He sneaks into the kitchen and glares at Abby when she turns around.

"Why would you invite him?" he asks.

"You two need to talk this out. It's obviously eating you alive, and Kaner's been calling Patrick almost every night, demanding to know why you've been avoiding him," she tells him.

"Jesus Christ, Abby. You can't just try to fix my problems. If I don't want to talk to Pat, I'm not going to. You can't make me," he says, and he puts Maddy down before grabbing his jacket that's hanging on a chair. He puts it on and slips out the back door before going over to his car.

Johnny drives home with a scowl on his face the whole time because that's what he does best. If he wasn't Captain Serious, he would definitely be Captain Grumpy or something. He doesn't know, and he doesn't care. He's been trying to get rid of Captain Serious, but you can't get ride of a golden nickname like that. It just won't happen, whether he wants to admit it or not.

He gets inside and locks the door, including the chain latch, and goes for the bottle of scotch. This is his emergency scotch, and he's almost out. Yeah, it's been that bad. He pours a glass and drinks it in one gulp before pouring another. His phone rings, and he looks at the caller I.D. before answering.

"I had no idea he was going to be here," Sharpy says as soon as Johnny picks up.

"I know. Abby invited him," Johnny tells him.

"Look, you're not the only one that's not happy with what she did. Trust me. However, she did it with the best intentions. She's right; you two need to talk it out, whether it's something you want to do or not. You may not want him to know, but you love him, and you and I both know that you'd rather keep him in your life as your friend than not at all. Ignoring him and letting how you feel take over your friendship is the wrong thing to do," Sharpy says.

"Patrick," Johnny starts, and it's weird for the both of them because he never calls him by his first name, "I'm not telling him to keep him as my friend. If I tell him how I feel, I lose him, and I can't risk that. He's my best friend."

"Shit. I wish you told me that before I sent him over to talk to you," Sharpy comments.

"You did WHAT?!"

At that moment, there's somebody knocking at the door. Johnny groans and hangs up before unlocking everything. He opens the door, and Pat barges past him, turning around when he's satisfied with his entrance. Johnny closes the door and faces him.

"First, you show up at my apartment and  _flee._ Then, you lie about it. You scream at me on the bench and ignore me for a whole week, and just when I think I get to talk to you about it, you leave Sharpy's house, making Maddy burst into tears because you didn't give her a proper hug a kiss that you can give a two-year-old. Either tell me what's going on, or have us going back to just being teammates, because I'm done with your bullshit," Pat demands.

 _Fuck it,_ Johnny thinks, and he cups Pat's facing before letting their lips press together. After a few seconds, Pat surprisingly kisses Johnny back. It doesn't stop him, though.

Johnny never understood why authors said that people's tongues danced together when they kissed, but now he does. It feels like their tongues are going the tango or something. Either way, they're finally kissing, and Johnny's finally  _happy._

Then, it's all over. Johnny can't just kiss him and not explain himself, so he pulls away, despite the whine that comes from the back of Pat's throat. He lets his hands drop to his sides and sighs.

"That's why. I love you, and not in the bro-to-bro kind. The I-want-to-kiss-you-and-hold-your-hand-and-cuddle-with-you-when-I-want-because-it-will-be-okay-with-you-because-you-love-me-too love. When I saw that girl answer your door, it hurt. She was also in my shirt, so it hurt even more. It could've been me that stayed the night, but it wasn't, and it killed me inside. Everything else has been my feelings take over my actions, and that was wrong of me. I just didn't want to lose you. You're my best friend, no matter what," Johnny tells him.

Pat stands there for a while, not saying anything—which is a first—and then he says, "You dumbass."

"Excuse me?"

"Dude, I've loved you since our first cup. I didn't think you liked me at all like that, so I pushed those feelings away. That girl that answered was an old girlfriend. We tried to see if it would work again, but since you've been ignoring me, that's been the only thing on my mind. I was playing like shit the other night partially on purpose so that you would talk to me again," Pat admits.

"You risked the game so that I would talk to you again?!" Johnny exclaims.

"Anything for you to talk to me again, yeah," Pat shrugs. "So, can we kiss again?"

Johnny grins and pulls Pat close to him, crashing their lips together because he can. They love each other, and he can kiss him whenever he wants because  _he told him._


End file.
